From Fostering to Forever

My family made a decision 17 years ago that changed our lives forever.

In 2007, family friends invited my wife Grace and I to an orientation for the Foster-To-Adoption program. This program’s goal is to keep foster children with the same family with the intention of adopting their foster child, should reunification with the biological parents fail. We were touched by the presentation and the critical need for foster parents, so we spent the next year in the certification process for foster and adoption. Immediately after certification, we were introduced to Matthew in June of 2008, a lively seven-year-old boy that recently entered the foster system. After meeting Matthew, it was time to introduce him to our daughters, Ashley (10) and Courtney (8). The consensus was unanimous, and Matthew was invited into our home and family. 

The next year was challenging as we struggled with blending Matthew into our family, all the while knowing that reunification is the goal of the foster system. We were terrified of potentially losing a new member of the family in such a short time span. We supported Matthew throughout the process, and my daughters instantly treated him like a brother. Then, at the end of the first year, on June 14, 2009, we had the opportunity to adopt Matthew. After ensuring that he wanted to become part of our family permanently, he chose to take our family name, Wraa, and, when he felt ready, began calling us Mom and Dad. We made sure to go at his pace and respect his wishes every step of the way. Looking back, I can’t imagine how difficult the entire process was for Matthew, and all we could do was provide him with love, security, and the opportunity for a permanent home along the way.

The journey with Matthew sparked a passion in our family to be part of the foster-adoption system. We supported a local non-profit, Lilliput Families, for years and I also served on their board. This amazing experience revealed the need to find permanent, loving homes for all these children. Lilliput Families had a great saying: "Change a child’s life so they can change their future.” In our case, we changed a child’s life, and he changed our future.

Matthew brought music into our home, and we discovered he was a gifted pianist. Matthew, Ashley, and Courtney all took private music lessons together. Ashley provided the vocals, and Matthew and Courtney accompanied her on the piano and drums. We had a literal garage band for a while, and I even decided to take guitar lessons to join in the fun! But as the kids grew older, I was kicked out of the band! Music stayed a big part of their lives through high school, with Ashley in musical theater and plays, Courtney in drum line, and Matthew performing at talent shows with a band.

Matthew is now 24 years old and recently moved to Washington state, where he was born. This was his goal since he came to live with us, and it finally came true for him last year. He has grown into an independent, successful young man, and we couldn’t be prouder to have been part of the journey.